Roots and Wings Page 6

  “He’s such a good boy,” David said as he made his way back to the front of the stall and picked up the towel.

  “William?”

  David laughed and walked over to his husband. “I meant King, but yes, William too.” David pushed Jerry up against the back of the stall, careful not to spook King, and pressed his lips to Jerry’s. “There’s a special place in heaven for you, Jerrod McKenzie.” David saw Jerry knit his eyebrows in confusion. “For putting up with me all these years.”

  “It has been tough,” Jerry said as he wrapped his husband in a bear hug. “Luckily for me, you do have some redeeming qualities.” Jerry moved his hands down to cup David’s ass, giving it a squeeze.

  “And putting up with my father and then my sisters and their kids and Cory.”

  “I wouldn’t have had it any other way, mountain lion.”

  David didn’t pull away this time, but leaned in a little more, gasping when Jerry turned them both so that David was pressed up against the back of King’s stall. He felt Jerry teasing his lips with his tongue, and he opened his mouth, taking Jerry’s tongue in between his teeth and scraping them gently over the warm flesh. He felt Jerry’s hands move under his T-shirt, heard the moan escape as his husband’s hands caressed his warm back.

  “Jerry?” David whispered against the swollen lips. “Let’s finish up with King so that I can take you somewhere and make it up to you, show you some of those redeeming qualities.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Jerry said and kissed David’s forehead.

  David watched, laughing, as Jerry rearranged himself in his jeans and took up the hoofpick again. Jerry bent down to stroke King’s leg, the beautiful stallion lifting one leg to allow Jerry to clean his foot. For twenty-five years, Jerry and King had followed this same routine. David was sure sometimes that they could read each other’s thoughts. Jerry just had to touch King in a certain way, and the horse would do exactly what was expected. David shook his head and took up the towel again, forbidding himself to think about the day when Jerry would no longer need to care for King.

  David spent a few minutes letting King eat some carrots out of his hand while Jerry finished up with the stallion’s hooves, and then they both spent some time petting and telling King that he was such a good boy. They’d been out every day since King first started showing signs of not being his usual energetic self. But the King they led out to the pasture after giving him all that attention seemed like his old self again, running around Biscuit and Mountain Lion and showing off his clean, shiny black coat.

  Jerry walked out to the pasture to give some attention to the two other horses, turning around to tell David to follow him. David did as he was told, wondering just where they were going. As he gave some attention to Biscuit and Mountain Lion, David wondered if Jerry was leading him out to the copse of trees just behind the pasture. They’d sometimes headed out to the cover of those trees to grab some alone time, especially in the first months after David had moved here. But they hadn’t been out there since Cory had explained to William what people who love each other do, sometimes, when they’re alone together.

  David walked up beside his husband and put his hand around his waist, pulling the denim shirt out of the jeans. Jerry looked at him and smiled bemusedly. “Just trying to save some time,” David said and shrugged, wanting to make up for his earlier blunder.

  “Hang on,” Jerry said as he ran back to the barn. He exited a few moments later, a blanket wrapped over his arm. “Figured it would still be there.”

  “Of course it is,” David said with a laugh. “I still wash that blanket, just in case we need it.” David wrapped his arm around Jerry’s waist, and they headed toward the trees and some privacy.

  They arrived at their long-unused spot in the little clearing that was just enough space for the blanket and Jerry’s tall, muscular body. Jerry cleared the area of some twigs and then spread the blanket out. He began to unbutton his shirt, but David stopped him.

  “This is one my favorite parts,” David said as he started with the top buttons and moved down toward Jerry’s jeans. Jerry’s hands stroked his husband’s arms, and David felt his husband becoming more and more aroused. David reached for the buckle of Jerry’s belt, undoing it easily and then opening the jeans, teasing Jerry by pushing the zipper down very, very slowly. David leaned up when his hand wrapped around his husband’s uncut dick, and kissed Jerry, their mouths opening almost immediately, tongues swirling and flicking. David felt Jerry’s hands move off of his arms to push his own jeans down, and David pulled away again. David pushed gently on the hairy chest and when Jerry’s back was against the nearest tree, David fell to his knees, inserting his tongue between the thick foreskin and mushroom head of his husband’s beautiful cock. He hummed and moaned when he felt the head blossom in his mouth, felt Jerry’s hands play with his ears and his hair.

  David put his hand at the base of Jerry’s cock and pulled, gathering the foreskin so that he could nibble and suck, his eyes closing at the taste and smell of his husband. He used his hands to begin pushing down Jerry’s jeans and boxers and felt Jerry’s knees bend slightly, David’s cue to take the sensitive balls into one hand and fondle and caress. Jerry did little things like this, whether intentionally or not, and they drove David crazy with desire. To know that Jerry trusted him, wanted him enough to completely open himself up like this meant as much to David as Jerry saying I love you.

  He brought one hand back to the jeans and boxers, pushing them down even further while the other hand cupped Jerry’s balls, fondling and caressing. His head continued to push back and forth, listening to the sounds that Jerry was making. He pushed the jeans and boxers down all the way to Jerry’s ankles and brought the other hand up to tap at Jerry’s hole, teasing his cheeks apart so that he could find the sensitive ring of muscle.

  David brought his mouth off of Jerry’s erection, took a deep breath and looked up, reveling in Jerry’s lust-filled eyes, in how Jerry’s head fell back when David breached the tight hole.

  “Am I forgiven, cowboy?” David asked as he took the hand that had been cupping and caressing his husband’s balls and used it to pull the foreskin forward again, inserting his finger between it and the engorged head.

  David smiled when Jerry’s hands caressed his cheeks and his head came forward to look down. “Don’t wanna come yet,” Jerry panted. “Wanna be inside you, baby. Love coming inside you.”

  David had been growing uncomfortably hard in his jeans before this point, but when he heard Jerry talk like that, he knew he had to get some relief soon. He took Jerry into his mouth and reached down with one hand, popping the button on his own jeans and freeing his straining erection. As he sucked and pulled on the heated flesh of Jerry’s big dick, he returned his hand to fondle and caress first one testicle and then the other.

  He was almost too far gone to recognize what he felt beneath his fingers. He pulled off and out of Jerry, pushing aside the cock that he’d just had in his mouth and putting his hand underneath the sensitive ball sac. He brought his other hand over to the left testicle and began to palpate. He was so focused on finding what he’d just felt that he didn’t hear Jerry the first time.

  “David?” Jerry was pulling up on his chin, to see his face. David tried to smile, but it must not have been convincing. “What’s wrong?” Jerry asked, his eyes darting back and forth between David’s.

  “I found a lump,” David whispered and then began to pull up Jerry’s boxers and jeans, fastening them and leaving the belt for Jerry. David did up Jerry’s shirt buttons, feeling like the task was impossible because his hands were suddenly shaky and numb. He pushed himself back into his own jeans and brought his eyes up to Jerry’s. “I’m going to make an appointment for you with Dr. Wulfhaart.”

  Chapter 6

  HE’D left Jerry and their boys, and Tara, sleeping so that he could sneak out early this Sunday morning to think things through. Finding that lump yesterday, learning that William had fallen in love but
was rejected by the girl’s parents, and knowing that Cory and Tara would be gone in another couple of days, it had all piled up on him, sneaked up on him, and that was on top of his studies and his work as a guidance counselor. And then his mother was sick and still in the hospital. He’d been to visit her and thought that they had a chance to reconcile, but then she’d gone back to her usual dismissive ways of one-syllable answers or not answering at all. He didn’t know what to do anymore, didn’t know why he was having such a hard time dealing with everything. He’d always suspected that he’d one day turn out like his mother—the unpredictable mood swings, the dramatic and energetic highs followed by the soul-crushing lows. But by the time he’d turned forty, he’d just figured he wouldn’t suffer as she had, that he’d somehow escaped it.

  David sat in the red vinyl booth in the Dutch Maid store, a green tea and an enormous apple muffin sitting in front of him. He shook his head, as if that small gesture would help him in trying to figure out where to start, would somehow arrange all of his thoughts. Finally, he looked up at the deep green eyes of his oldest and best friend in the world. Lenore smiled at him, waiting for David to start in his own good time.

  “I feel like I’m losing my mind some days,” David whispered, grateful that Lenore had come to his rescue once again. “I just want to run out of the house and scream.”

  “Why don’t you?”

  “I think Jerry would have me committed,” David laughed, picking at the muffin. “I found the lump in his testicle, but he spent most of the night trying to comfort me.”

  “Is there any history of cancer in his family?”

  David shook his head and leaned back against the cool vinyl of the booth. “I tried to talk to him about it, but he fell asleep on me.” He leaned forward again, his left hand turning the mug around and around on the table. He stopped suddenly. “Why isn’t he worried about this?”

  “Maybe he is, but he doesn’t want you to worry. Or maybe he fell asleep because he was tired?” Lenore said with her practiced sarcastic air, reaching across and pulling the muffin into the center of the table. David just looked at her. “No sense in wasting it.” She peeled off a piece and popped it in her mouth. “Did you ask him why he’s not worried about it? Or did you even ask him if he is?”

  “I did,” David confessed, picking at his side of the muffin. “He said he’d worry about it when and if there’s anything to worry about.”

  “Smart man,” Lenore said over her mug of coffee. “To hang on to you and not to worry everyone over something that very well could be nothing.”

  “I never thought I could love someone so much, Lenore.” David finally pushed the muffin toward Lenore and picked up his napkin and picked at it.

  Lenore laughed and reached out to take the napkin away, letting it fall on the fake wood surface of the table, beside the muffin. “For pete’s sake, David, you keep doing this routine, and I’m going to have to get the smelling salts and tell everyone you have the vapors.”

  “I know, I know,” David said, knowing that Lenore was talking about his fidgeting and his general unease. “I can’t get my mind to settle. I’m not sleeping. I can’t concentrate for more than a couple of minutes.”

  “Why do you think that is?” Lenore sipped her coffee and then reached down for another chunk of muffin. “Maybe you’re just trying to do too much?”

  “It’s more than just that. William has almost finished school and then he’ll be off to Guelph to become a vet and start his own life, and my mother is sick because she won’t take her insulin or stop drinking. Then there’s Cory and Tara, and….” David let his head fall into his hands. “I start thinking about those things, and I get so sad,” he said to the table’s surface, noticing for the first time that there were initials carved near his elbow.

  “That doesn’t mean you’re crazy, sweetie.” Lenore reached across the table and squeezed David’s forearm. “It just means you’re human.”

  “Jerry and I talked about me going to talk to someone. You know, a psychologist or a psychiatrist.”

  “I’m a big believer in everyone needing help every now and then,” Lenore said as she reached beside her, into her purse, and retrieved a card. She placed the tattered card on the table and slid it across to David. “She’s talked me off the ledge a couple of times.” Lenore squeezed David’s arm again.

  “Thanks, Lenore,” David said, smiling and already feeling a little bit better. “Lord knows I have enough training to be able to see all of this for what it is, but it all just… hits me at once sometimes, and I feel like….”

  “Call her,” Lenore said, pointing to the card. “It’s always a good idea to talk to somebody who isn’t close to us, who can see things in a different light.”

  “I know,” David said as he picked up the card and pulled out his wallet, placing the card inside. “I love you. You know that, right?”

  “And I love you, even though you’re a big homo,” Lenore said with a wink. “And I love William and Cory,” she said picking up her mug. “And even Jerry.”

  “He adores you too.” David let go of a heavy sigh, feeling so much better. “I hope this lump turns out to be nothing. I just can’t stop thinking that… I’ll lose everything just when I can’t live without it. What if Jerry….”

  “He is going to die,” Lenore said, her expression serious but compassionate. “And so will you and so will I.” Lenore put her coffee mug on the fake wood again and laid her hand, palm up, out for David. He took it and felt her reassuring warmth. “He will die one day. So, the only thing you can do about it is to show him, right now, how much he means to you.” Lenore squeezed David’s hand one last time and then picked up her mug. “And considering his family genes and that they all live to be almost a hundred years old, I’d say you’ve got another forty or fifty years to show him just how much.” She sipped her coffee, furrowed her brow, and then added, “Of course, that’s assuming that you don’t get hit by a bus on your way home this morning.”

  David looked up to see her evil grin, laughing and shaking his head in defeat. “I hate you. You know that right?”

  Lenore just laughed at him and pushed the muffin back in the center of the table. David was surprised to find that he was actually feeling a little bit hungry.

  “So,” Lenore said after a few moments. “William didn’t turn out gay, huh?” David held up a finger in warning, but he was too late. “You and Jerry not doing something right?” David could see that she wasn’t finished yet. A few seconds later, she added, “Won’t you get kicked out of the homo club for having a straight kid? Honestly, how are you able to live with the shame?”

  David tried not to give her the satisfaction of knowing she’d made him laugh, but he let go of a chortle, feeling even better. He leaned back, stealing the muffin from under her hand as she reached out.

  WILLIAM was sitting at his computer, Billie lying peacefully on the heating vent in the floor by his feet. His leg tapped nervously as he checked for any new e-mails. There were none. He’d spent a restless night thinking about nothing else but Anne. Why hadn’t he heard from her yet? She’d managed to get a text message to him, but there was no e-mail. Had her parents restricted her computer privileges? Had they taken away her laptop? Or did she realize that she didn’t want to be with him anymore? William had already promised her that there would be no more sex until they both felt ready, but maybe she didn’t believe him? He was convinced that he loved her, loved everything about her. The way she laughed at his jokes, the way she held his hand whenever he asked her to. Even the way she looked at him, like he was the most handsome guy at school.

  It had certainly been a surprise to find himself feeling this way about Julie’s friend. He’d gone along on the dates because Wayde wanted to go out with Julie so badly, and her parents would only allow her to go out in groups. But then Julie had found a way for her and Wayde to be together, which left William alone with Anne. At first, William had been scared to death, just at the thought of b
eing alone with a girl. William had always figured he would end up liking boys, just like David and Jerry. He’d planned on it, in fact.

  But then he and Anne had started talking and had discovered that they had so much in common. They both loved animals, horses especially. They both liked school and learning new things. They both hated some of the biggest bullies in the school. Anne had been bullied, too, telling William it was because she was fat. William didn’t see her that way. She was beautiful, healthy, and a really kind person. She did volunteer work at the elementary school, even though she’d already earned enough hours to satisfy her community volunteer credits.

  When Wayde and Julie asked them to go with them to the movies, William couldn’t wait to go. He’d sat beside Anne, their legs touching every now and then. William had been a complete bundle of nerves, but he’d finally managed to reach out and take her hand. His heart felt like it was going to beat through his chest when she took it and squeezed it; she didn’t pull it away. She likes me too, he’d screamed to himself, so relieved that he missed the entire second half of the movie because his eyes were riveted to their interlaced fingers. Since that particular date, William and Anne had been inseparable for more than two months, but then the pregnancy scare had blindsided them. William hadn’t been able to see Anne for more than a week.

  He’d been so wrapped up in these new developing feelings for Anne that he’d not given much thought to anything else, including telling Jerry and David. In fact, William had not thought about his fathers at all, that is until he and Anne had gone too far and he had realized that he could become a father himself. And despite the fear that this realization had stirred up in William, as if it were some horrible case of indigestion, he had found himself to be rather excited at the thought of becoming a father.