Roots and Wings Read online

  “Fuck,” David muttered and let his head sink back onto Jerry’s shoulder.

  “Wants to know if he can send some flowers and a card.”

  David lifted his head again, and this time, he felt a smile of pride curl his lips. “God, I love that boy,” David said as Jerry kissed his forehead. “He is the most amazing young man.”

  “Thanks to you,” Jerry said as he pulled David closer.

  “I wish she could have known you,” David sighed against Jerry’s muscular chest. “Known you and William and Cory.”

  “There’s still hope,” Jerry said, his voice full of confidence. David wasn’t so sure that he agreed with Jerry this time.

  “I guess,” David said as William came into the living room with a big bowl of popcorn and sat on Jerry’s other side.

  David watched as William picked up the remote and pressed the button for pay-per-view. Jerry had his arms around him and their son, and David felt such happiness in that one moment. The four of them would not end up like David’s own family. Even though David had reconnected with all of them, except his mother, there had been all of those long, endless, lonely years in between. He would never let that happen to his family.

  “Oh,” Jerry said as the opening sequence of the film began. “Got a phone call from Cory. He and Tara are coming out for a visit. Said they’ll be here for about a week or so this time around.”

  Chapter 2

  DAVID sat at the kitchen table, his chin propped in one of his hands, as he read over the rough draft of the essay for a third time. When he’d returned with his family from Italy, he’d spent the remaining six months of that year homeschooling both William and Cory, and discovered something rather peculiar. He’d not missed being in the classroom as much as he’d anticipated. At the time, he’d chalked it up to the excitement of living in Europe and the newness of his family. There had been plenty of distractions to keep his mind off of what had been his daily routine of the past twenty years.

  But when he’d been told by the school board that his old position was ready and waiting for him, David had begun to have second thoughts. He’d discussed them at length, of course, with Jerry, hoping that his husband would tell him just to go back to the classroom and the job he adored. But Jerry had said nothing of the kind. He’d simply smiled and asked David what could possibly be causing this desire to give up the job he’d once been so passionate about. Although David didn’t have an answer right away, he eventually figured it out. He was worried that if he went back to the classroom, he’d be there for another twenty years and would never be able to realize another dream of his, a dream he’d not given much thought until he saw his boys pursuing their own passions.

  The decision made, David extended his leave of absence, invited Lenore out to dinner one night, and told her of his desire to become a guidance counselor. Lenore, of course, had been thrilled with the idea, although David wasn’t sure why she’d been surprised; he’d often discussed the idea of making that switch with her in the past. He’d gone back to university at the age of forty-four, surrounded by fellow students who seemed like babies to him, and had worked hard to obtain his bachelor’s degree in psychology. He’d returned to the school division as a guidance counselor—although now he was at the high school—after a three-year absence, and had found he loved the job so much that he returned to part-time studies to obtain his master’s.

  So, here he was at the kitchen table, a guidance counselor, holding a brand new master’s as of last April and diligently working toward a PhD. Jerry had been nothing but supportive of David’s new goals, and had even taken to calling him Doc. It made David laugh, and got him thinking about opening his own practice. He had always planned to retire early from teaching and to travel or pursue other studies in art or linguistics, but the last seven years had shown him how young lives could be completely transformed by a little love and understanding. And that David knew he had in abundance.

  He stood up from the table when the words started blurring together, taking a moment to stretch out his back, and then headed outside to see what his men were up to. Jerry had been very worried lately about King. The beautiful black beauty had not been himself for almost a week. He wasn’t eating as much anymore, and he seemed disinterested in his usual activities. When they put him out to pasture to graze, King spent the time in one spot, flicking his tail occasionally, and ambling back to the barn before too long.

  They’d checked his diet, upping the alfalfa content of the grass/alfalfa mix they’d been feeding him, and had even checked his teeth to see if he might be having a problem chewing. His manure seemed fine, the balls easily broken in half, so they’d been at a loss as to what could be the problem other than old age. But King had really scared them last week when William had found him in the barn, resting a foreleg instead of his usual back leg. William had taken him out to the pasture where King immediately lay down and began to roll restlessly around, not sunning himself like he usually did.

  As he made his way to the barn, David remembered how panicked and upset William had been to see the majestic horse in such a state. He’d run back into the house to get Jerry, who’d called the vet. It had turned out to be colic and an unexpected case of worms. King had now been on everyone’s radar for the past week. They’d each taken turns getting up to go out and spend some time with the stallion that had them all worried. King meant a great deal to all of them, but especially to David. It had been King that had helped William and David to bond seven years ago when David had come to do a routine visit to meet the student who’d just lost his parents and had been sent to live with a second cousin. That afternoon spent with William and Jerry had changed David’s life. He’d met the love of his life, Jerry, and had fallen in love with the shy, too-small William, eventually adopting him just before his twelfth birthday.

  “How’s our boy doing?” David said as he moved up to where William was brushing King’s coat. “Hey, how are you, boy?” David caressed the horse’s head, and King whinnied, as if in protest of being called a boy, and pushed his head into David’s hand.

  “I think he’s getting better,” William said, his smile bright.

  DAVID moved forward and pulled William into a quick hug, placing an equally quick kiss on William’s temple. “I’m sorry,” David said when he stepped back. “I know I should stop doing that, but….”

  “I don’t mind. Honest.”

  “Okay,” David said with a smile. “Do you have any requests for dinner tonight?”

  “Lasagna!” David heard Jerry’s voice mixed with William’s. Jerry was obviously in his studio, preparing his final few pieces for his next showing in Toronto. Kitty had made all of the arrangements and had even pre-sold several pieces to the galleries and museums across Canada and the States.

  “Aren’t you two sick of lasagna yet?”

  “No!” The two men responded in unison, making David laugh.

  “Okay, lasagna it is.” David moved toward the ladder, wanting to see his husband. “That will actually work out well since Cory and Tara have already requested Swiss steak with baked potatoes and green beans for Sunday dinner, so you won’t have to live without your lasagna this week.” David reached the top of the stairs, and shook his head when he heard his son mutter, “Sweet.”

  “And you,” David said as he sidled up to his husband, his voice a seductive whisper. “I came up to thank you for taking such good care of me the last couple of days.”

  Jerry wrapped his arms around his husband and kissed him soundly on the lips. “Oh, it’s been such a chore lying with you in bed or on the sofa, kissing these lips, and making love to this body,” Jerry whispered and kissed David’s forehead. “But it’s nice to be recognized for all my hard work.”

  “I love you, Jerry.” David’s arms traced a trail along Jerry’s back as they came up to rest at his shoulder blades. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through this without you and William.”

  “Love you too, Doc,” Jerry said with a
smile, brushing the hair out of David’s eyes. “Time for a haircut, I think.”

  “I know,” David groaned. “I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to make an appointment.”

  “The gray is really, really sexy, baby,” Jerry cooed as he moved his legs apart so that he and David were eye to eye. David had three patches of gray running through his hair now. He had not gone gray as early as his father, nor had he had an overall change to gray like his father. Instead, Jerry had noticed one day a few gray strands at the left temple, just off his forehead and the other behind his right ear. They had quickly developed into patches and had been the source of many discussions between David and Jerry. David had thought of dyeing his hair, but Jerry said he loved the look, so David had done nothing with them.

  “I’m catching up to you,” David said trailing his hands back down the broad, muscled back.

  “Still have the ass of a twenty-year-old, though.”

  David swatted playfully at Jerry’s ass and leaned up for a kiss. Jerry didn’t use the line often, but only lately since David had started to notice that he wasn’t looking as young as he once did. David wasn’t necessarily vain, but he’d always appeared to be much younger than his actual age. So, seeing the lines and the little brown spots on his arms made him realize that everything continued to move forward. There was no calling a time-out so that he could memorize every detail of his time with Jerry and William and Cory. There were plenty of videos and pictures, but David didn’t like the feeling that he would be without William, very soon, in the house. Cory had already left for university, and it had been rough. David couldn’t imagine how he was going to cope with William’s departure.

  David’s hands moved up to cup Jerry’s face as the kiss continued, strong and passionate as ever. Both men finally came up for air. “I’ll go in and get the lasagna ready,” David said as he took one last kiss and then moved to the ladder. Before leaving the barn, though, he took another moment to go and stand beside his son, both of them petting and loving on King.

  “Do you know how lucky you are?” David was talking to King, laughing at the boisterous spirit the old stallion seemed to be getting back. “We’ll all make sure nothing ever happens to you.” Turning to William, David smiled at the look on his son’s face. He knew another hug was coming, and he stopped brushing King long enough to open his arms. David wrapped his arms around William and squeezed. He closed his eyes for a moment, content to do nothing other than hold William in his arms.

  “I love you, David,” William said finally.

  “Me too!”

  David heard Jerry’s voice from the loft, and laughed. Before he let go of William, he moved his hands to William’s ribs and tickled for a couple of seconds. William backed into the wooden slats that formed the stall and let go of one of those giggles that could pull David out of any kind of bad mood, although it wasn’t really a giggle anymore since William’s voice had gotten so deep. “Lasagna in an hour!” David exited the barn, the smile on his face fading slowly as he thought of the phone call he would have to make to his father. David hoped with all of his heart that there would be good news about his mother. He couldn’t bear the thought that she could die and that nothing between them would be resolved. He’d managed to fix things with his sisters and his father, so why not his mother?

  JERRY climbed into bed and pushed himself against David’s warm body. As always, David turned to lie on his back, giving Jerry the access he craved. He put his hand on the flat belly and pushed his hand forward so that he could wrap his arm around the trim waist. He gave David a quick kiss. “Did you have a good visit?” Jerry asked as he pulled himself closer to his husband. After dinner, David had gone to the hospital when his father had explained that Marie Van den Boesch had regained consciousness.

  “She didn’t say much, but she asked me how my family was,” David said as he placed his arm on top of Jerry’s, the one wrapped around him. “I guess it’s a start.”

  “I’m glad,” Jerry whispered as he moved his lips to kiss the closest ear. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’m just going to taste you for a bit.”

  “Right,” David laughed. “Like I’d ever fall asleep with you so near… and naked.”

  “What do you need, David?” Jerry wanted nothing more than to make love to his husband, but if David just wanted to be held, Jerry would be just as happy to do that.

  “I’m sorry, baby, but I’m feeling kind of tired.”

  “In that case,” Jerry said as he turned to lie on his back. “Come here,” he said when he was settled, pulling David to his body. David moved without saying anything further and settled his head onto Jerry’s chest. “This is just as good for me, David.” Jerry’s hand stroked up and down the soft skin of his husband’s back while he placed kisses to the top of David’s forehead. “Go to sleep now. I’ve got you.”

  “I know, Jerry. You always do.”

  Those were the last words that Jerry heard before David’s breathing slowed and Jerry felt the slim body relax against his. His mind wandered as he lay there, David safe in his arms. He thought about William, about Cory and Tara, and about the past seven years. He couldn’t help but wonder what the next seven years would be like. He imagined it all sometimes when he was working in his studio preparing for the next show, or when he was mucking stalls, or even at times like this when he had David wrapped up in his arms late at night. He imagined that Cory and Tara would eventually marry and have children. He imagined that William would find love as well, whether with a man or a woman didn’t matter to Jerry.

  A house full of in-laws and grandchildren and nieces and nephews he’d only known for a couple of years. He’d always guarded his solitude with the same ferociousness that now defined his intense desire to protect his family, not trusting the slow reappearance of David’s father and sisters. But Jerry had been wrong to doubt them. They were wonderful people and had brought so much joy to David and to William. How could Jerry not have approved of that? How could he criticize any of them for having had the courage to show up and admit they’d been wrong?

  David had almost all of his family back, William had six cousins that he saw almost regularly, at least once a week, and Jerry had been there to make sure that none of them hurt David again, or any of them for that matter. Of course, they hadn’t and probably never would, but Jerry found that old habits did, indeed, die hard and that learning to let go and just allow things to fall where they may had been a very difficult process to adopt. But he’d done it, and as a result, he had a growing family. A happy family. A loving family.

  He looked down when he heard David snuffle and pull closer, his hands moving slowly over Jerry’s chest. Jerry tightened his hold on the sleeping man, letting go of a deep, contented sigh. This man who’d followed Jerry halfway around the world and back again, never once complaining or asking for anything in return. David had seen something in Jerry, had seen past the swagger and the bravado that Jerry had always used as some sort of shield. Jerry had long ago realized that he hadn’t stood a ghost of a chance, being ambushed as he was by William and then David.

  The two of them had entered his life, and Jerry had realized, within hours, what he had been missing. He’d been relentless in his pursuit of the man who now shared his life and his bed. He’d pursued him with a single-minded fervor that had taught Jerry some very important lessons about what was truly important in life. He’d had money, had had his fair share of handsome twentysomethings, and had even thought he might have found the one once or twice. But when David entered his life, Jerry had realized that no one had ever made him feel as if he was worth anything more than what was in his bank account, or his pants.

  David had been the one to see past the money, past Jerry’s impressive endowment, even past the manufactured image of Jerry McKenzie, the artist. It was this man, the man he clung to every night, who had shown Jerry that family was the only thing that would ever truly matter. And Jerry found it ironic that it was a kind, handsome, sexy man
like David—a man who’d lost his own family years before—who had shown Jerry just how important family was.

  Even through those first few years when Jerry had questioned every decision and thought himself the most dismal failure as a father, David’s faith in him never wavered. Jerry trusted this man completely, with his life even, because he’d never had any reason not to, except early on. But Jerry didn’t like to think about that, about how he’d almost thrown it all away. Jerry felt David move, his body moving slowly against his, and thought about the time when he’d been ready to turn his back on David. He’d fallen in love with David, and had been crushed that David had been ready to throw away his career and everything he felt for his students because of a few bigoted assholes who’d been trying to pressure him into giving up his teaching job.

  He’d almost given up on David then. But David had surprised even him, refusing, finally, to give in to the pressure, refusing to relinquish the job he loved so much. And David had done so because he had wanted to make Jerry proud of him, had wanted to make Jerry see how much he wanted him. Jerry looked down as David’s head came up and the beautiful brown eyes opened and fixed him with a look of unadulterated happiness.

  “Hey, sleepy,” Jerry whispered, smiling. “You okay? Can I get you anything?”

  “Doc, sleepy. What am I, a dwarf?” He laughed and watched as David looked over at the clock. “Have you slept at all?”

  “Nah,” Jerry said as he reached down and kissed David’s soft lips. “I’ve been lying here thinking about you.”

  “I’m sorry if I’m making you worry,” David said. Jerry was about to protest when David suddenly climbed on top of him, their torsos aligning. Jerry reached down with his hands and stroked David’s back, listening to the whimper as a little shiver passed through his husband’s body. David’s legs straddled his hips and Jerry was soon feeling the slender, muscular body rubbing against his.