Roots and Wings Read online

  “What do you need, baby?” Jerry knew David wouldn’t always ask for what he wanted, or needed. David was more accustomed to giving than taking, and it wasn’t in his nature to tell Jerry that he needed some attention or he needed Jerry to take his mind off of his troubles. He reached down and put his hands on either side of David’s face. “I’ll do anything for you.” He looked deep into those brown eyes. “Do you want me inside you? Do you want me to make love to you?” Jerry felt the nod of his husband’s head and moved his hands to the mattress, pushing himself up so that he was sitting, with David in his lap.

  “I’m sorry, Jerry—”

  “Lie back, David,” Jerry whispered, as he rolled over so that David was on his back. “It’s okay. I’ll be right back.” Jerry pushed himself off the bed to get the lube out of the drawer. He knew that David was apologizing for his distractedness over the past few days. Ever since the news about his mother, David had been somewhere else, going to bed early, even having trouble getting up in the morning. Jerry knew that something was wrong when David had actually hit the snooze button on the alarm clock. He never hit the snooze button.

  “Need you, baby,” David sighed as he stretched out on the bed, his legs pushing the duvet and the sheets to the end of the bed. “Love you.”

  “Love you more than anything, David.” Jerry was back on the bed, on his hands and knees as he took David into his mouth, intent on making his husband feel better, if only for a little while. Jerry sucked and licked for a few more minutes before pushing David’s thighs to his chest, his tongue finding that sweet hole. He kissed and licked and laved David’s entrance, preparing him for what would follow. Jerry had always firmly believed that those people who said they were just as happy with sex years into a relationship had been lying. But here Jerry was, seven years with the same man and he couldn’t get enough of him. If he thought that he could manage at fifty-three years old, and if he thought he could convince David, Jerry would do nothing all day but make love to his handsome husband.

  When the tugging of David’s hands on his hair and ears became insistent, Jerry knew that David was ready and wanting. He raised himself up, towering over his husband, making a show of slicking his own uncut dick with the lube, a show that drove David to distraction. And it certainly helped Jerry too. There was nothing quite like knowing that your lover and husband found you to be irresistibly sexy. He’d even fulfilled a fantasy for David not too long ago. Jerry tried not to laugh when he’d finally gotten David to tell him about his fantasies, but he couldn’t help it when he listened to how David wanted to sit in a chair and watch Jerry masturbate, playing with his own foreskin and his own hole. It had embarrassed Jerry at first, but then he’d found himself to be incredibly aroused. David was sitting and watching as Jerry watched him, imagining all of the things he wanted to do to his husband but unable to touch him.

  Looking down at David, Jerry leaned forward and positioned himself at the tight hole. He pushed in slowly, feeling those long fingers caressing and stroking his chest. Jerry’s hands were resting on either side of David’s torso, so he couldn’t touch back. He closed his eyes as he felt David do that contracting muscle thing he did to drive Jerry absolutely crazy. He lost all track of time as he pushed in and pulled out, his chest and belly on fire from those hands petting him.

  “Kiss me, Jerry,” David pleaded and Jerry was only too happy to comply. Not only did he love to be kissed while Jerry made love to him, but Jerry also knew that it meant David was close. Jerry would rest his body on his elbows, and then David would wrap those long legs around his waist, pulling up so that he could get enough friction to come at the same time as Jerry.

  Jerry’s hands wrapped themselves around the back of David’s neck, his mouth and tongue kissing lips and ears and neck. He heard the heavy breathing, felt the puffs of hot breath against his sweat-slicked skin. “You’re so beautiful, David. My beautiful husband,” Jerry murmured against his husband’s sensitive ear.

  “Jerry,” David sighed against his lips and then Jerry felt the legs wrap tighter around his waist. Jerry knew it wouldn’t take much longer. He kissed David, their tongues moving wildly against each other as Jerry began to snap his hips more quickly, pegging his husband’s prostate with each thrust. David’s eyes were closed, his hands scrabbling for purchase against the solid muscle of Jerry’s back. Jerry pulled his lips off of David’s and moved them to the more sensitive nerves of his husband’s ears, licking and kissing and whispering words of love.

  “Let go, baby. I’ve got you,” Jerry sighed into David’s ear. There was a gentle, almost inaudible sigh from beneath him, and then Jerry felt the tightness around his dick and the wetness on his belly. “So incredible, David. What you do to me. Make me feel ten feet tall.” Jerry claimed his husband’s lips, pulling off every few seconds so that they could both breathe. “Squeeze me, baby. Take me all the way in.”

  Jerry grunted when he felt the waves of contractions again, whispering David’s name over and over as he snapped his hips, emptying himself into his husband. David’s arms were on his back still, pulling and stroking as Jerry rode out his own orgasm.

  “Thank you, Jerry,” David whispered near his ear. “Love you so much.”

  “My pleasure, mountain lion,” Jerry said with a lopsided grin. “Love to watch you fly like that. The look on your face? Nothing better than that.”

  After a quick trip to get a warm washcloth, Jerry was back in bed, both of them cleaned up and ready for sleep. David cuddled close to Jerry again, his arms wrapped around his husband. And this time, when David’s eyes grew heavy, Jerry’s did too, both of them falling asleep, together, just as they had done every night for the past seven years.

  Chapter 3

  JERRY stood with King in the stallion’s stall and stroked the muscular neck. He and King had been together for so long now that he imagined sometimes that he could almost hear King’s thoughts. Twenty-five years ago, Jerry had bought a pitch-black ball of muscle and energy. He’d known that King was the one for him when he’d been standing there and the five-year-old stallion had nudged his chest against his shirt pocket, looking for a treat, Jerry had thought. But then Jerry had reached into that pocket, unaware he’d had anything there at all. When he pulled out a receipt from King’s Autobody, the receipt that he’d been trying to locate for almost a week, Jerry figured it was fate.

  For twenty-five years, it had just been the two of them on the ranch, until Biscuit had joined them a couple of years later. Jerry had toyed, very briefly, with the idea of breeding horses, but that particular plan had crashed rather quickly when King had refused to have anything to do with Biscuit. Must be fate, you ending up with a gay horse, Kitty had teased him. Jerry didn’t really care whether his horses were gay or straight. He loved them like he loved his family. They were part of his family, and it pained him to realize that King would be leaving him soon. He tried to imagine that day, and it made his chin quiver and his eyes burn.

  The vet had said that there was nothing wrong with King, that it had all been just a bout of colic. Digestive problems, the vet had said. But Jerry was out here anyway, making sure that King was comfortable. If he was going to leave the family soon, Jerry would make sure King knew how much he was loved before he went.

  “You were my first love, weren’t ya, boy?” Jerry smiled when King’s big black eyes looked over at him, as if he’d understood. “You were the best friend I ever had until David came.” King whinnied at David’s name and Jerry laughed. “Yeah, I know. I like him better than me too.” He finished stroking King’s neck, kissed his black coat and turned when he heard the roar of an engine out in the driveway. “Cory’s here, boy. Come on,” Jerry said, leading the horse out of the barn. “We’ll say hi to Cory.”

  Jerry and King met them a few feet from their car, both Cory and Tara busy gathering suitcases and grocery bags and presents. Tara was the first to greet Jerry, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a big hug.

  “Hi,
Jerry. We missed you so much.”

  Jerry loved Tara, loved how good she was to Cory, how good she was for him, even if he was a little jealous that Cory had met the one at the tender age of sixteen and would have an entire lifetime with her. Jerry was grateful for David, but he wished sometimes that they would have another sixty years together.

  “Jerry,” Cory said, his grin big and sincere as he wrapped himself around the man who’d taken him in when his own father had earned himself a fifteen-year stay in prison. “Missed you, Jerry.”

  Tara had moved over to stroke and pet King, talking to him and telling him how much she missed him. Tara was still studying to become a veterinarian, although Jerry was sure she could make just as much as any doctor. No one seemed to be able to calm animals like Tara, except maybe William.

  “Has he been sick?” Tara asked wrapping her arms around King’s neck. “He looks thinner.”

  “Little colic, the vet said,” Jerry explained and then turned when the door to the house opened. Since William wasn’t home, Jerry knew he’d see David, big grin on his face, coming toward Cory and Tara. “Should be a hundred percent in no time.”

  “David,” Cory said as he wrapped his arms around the other man who’d taken him in. Jerry looked on, his heart ready to burst. Cory and David had a special bond, not as special as David and William, but special nonetheless. David had that effect on people, especially kids. Jerry figured they sensed something magical about the man, just as he had all those years ago.

  “Cory,” David said as he hugged his foster son tightly. “I’m so happy you got here safely. And Tara, come give me a hug.” David hugged Tara just as tightly.

  Jerry and David had discussed many times how good they thought Tara was for Cory. She had slowly brought balance and pride back to that scared sixteen-year-old boy who’d suffered so much abuse and humiliation at the hands of his biological father. It was Tara who had shown Cory that nothing mattered but what he did, that his life didn’t need to be defined by his past. Jerry would always remember the shock he got when Tara had precisely and succinctly explained to Cory what he should do when he had those kinds of thoughts. If someone thinks you’re not worth anything because of where you’ve been and doesn’t seem to care where you will be, Tara had said one day after dinner, then fuck ’em! Jerry had done a spit take with his coffee, and David had started laughing, that kind of laugh that starts slow and builds until his eyes were watering. Amen to that, David had said when he’d regained his composure. It was that observation from Tara that had convinced both of Cory’s foster dads that Tara was not only a winner, but that she would be as fierce in protecting Cory as he was in protecting her.

  “Where’s William?” Cory was looking at him, and Jerry snapped his mind back to the present.

  “At work, I think.” Jerry said as he stroked King absentmindedly. “Be home for dinner, he said.”

  “Good,” Cory said, sneaking a glance at Tara. “’Cause we have some news to share with you all.”

  Jerry glanced at David, who looked back at him. They’d talked about this just last week, wondering when the announcement would come. Cory had finished school and had been working at building his own design business for two years now, so David had been convinced that they would be married soon enough. Jerry wasn’t sure Tara would want to be married while she finished her last few years of residency and internship, but Jerry should have known by now that David was usually right about these things.

  “We won’t make you tell us now, but I’m telling you, William is going to go nuts,” David said as he moved forward and hugged Cory and then Tara. David’s hand was brushing the hair out of Cory’s eyes or squeezing his shoulder. Jerry would have never guessed Cory for a toucher, since he’d not been too comfortable with it before he moved to the ranch, but David had been relentless. Now, it seemed like William and Cory couldn’t get enough hugging and touching from either of them. “By the way,” David said as he walked over and stood next to King. “Don’t think I don’t know where William got that money to buy himself those accessories for his car.”

  Jerry saw Cory blush, and bit his tongue so he wouldn’t laugh out loud. He remembered telling Cory, six years ago when they’d been working out in the studio one afternoon, that David was like some sort of human bloodhound who would always find out the truth. It was like all those years of teaching young kids had made him a human lie detector. He could always tell when someone was lying to him. Jerry didn’t have any secrets from the man, but if he did, he knew that it would only be because David didn’t see any need to confirm what he’d already figured out on his own.

  “It wasn’t that much,” Cory protested and looked down at his boots. “I wanted to help him out, like you two did for me with Jerry’s old truck.”

  “Man’s got a point,” Jerry said as he wrapped an arm around his husband’s waist.

  “Hey,” David huffed. “No one’s in trouble here. I’m just saying that he’s got a part-time job now working with Dr. Douglas, so he needs to learn some responsibility, some self-reliance.”

  “Understood,” Cory said, looking from his foster dads back to Tara. “Come on, Tar, let’s get settled.”

  “Leave the grocery bags and the presents,” David said. “I’ll bring them in a minute.”

  Jerry and David stood side by side and watched Cory and Tara take their suitcases and disappear into the house. Jerry knew that they would want some alone time after their flight and the half-hour car ride from the airport. Jerry and David both remembered what it was like to be twenty-something and in love. Hell, Jerry still felt that way. He couldn’t get enough of David, and they were way past being twentysomethings. It was one of the reasons he and David took such good care of themselves.

  “You gonna tell them about your mom?” Jerry asked, kissing David’s temple.

  “I guess I probably should, although I’ll do it later so I don’t ruin their big announcement.” David leaned up and kissed his husband, then walked to give some attention to King. “How’s he doing?” David looked over at Jerry, the concern plain on his face.

  “His manure is looking better, and he seems to have his appetite back, so…,” Jerry said and then nodded his head several times.

  “You’re going to live forever, aren’t you, King?”

  Jerry felt the same way, understood what David was feeling. And he loved that David was just as much in love with these animals as Jerry was. King had been here for almost eighteen years before David had arrived, but Jerry had watched, completely amazed, at how quickly David and King had bonded with each other. But then again, Jerry was willing to admit he was a little slower than most people, and it had taken him a little longer than King even to realize what an amazing soul David had. And what made it even more perfect, David somehow had the idea that Jerry was pretty amazing too. And after hearing David say it over and over again for the past seven years, Jerry was thinking he might just be.

  DAVID moved to the other side of King and let his fingers comb through the thick mane of jet black hair. King loved this, would whinny whenever he did it. David was sure that it was King’s second favorite thing, his most favorite being anyone with food. David couldn’t count the number of shirt pockets King had ripped looking for a carrot or an apple. He often wondered who had ever trained King—inadvertently, even—to look for food in a shirt pocket.

  “It’ll be a sad day, that’s for sure,” David said as he put one hand out to stroke King’s neck as the other continued to comb through his mane. “How come King’s not gray?”

  “Doesn’t have the gray gene,” Jerry said, moving to stand beside David. “Stroke him the wrong way there.” Jerry watched as David did so. “See? Black underneath. Means he won’t go gray.”

  “Lucky horse,” David said, his pout exaggerated.

  “Hey, at least you still have most of your hair,” Jerry laughed at his husband’s antics.

  “Oh, please, not this again.” David leaned into Jerry. “You’ve still got l
ots of hair,” David said in a soothing tone. “And you know what the gray does to me.”

  Jerry laughed when he saw his husband waggle his eyebrows. “Yeah,” Jerry said, blushing. “I still remember when you found that patch of gray on my chest. I don’t think we’d done it that many times in one night since our fuck-buddy days.”

  “Would have noticed it sooner, too, if you’d let me turn the lights on every once in a while,” David groused. “Love looking at you.”

  David reached up to caress Jerry’s face, then pulled him in, hugging him close, both men laughing when King nudged Jerry. “Yeah, yeah, you can have him back.” Jerry kissed David soundly and stood back, watching David love on their horse for a few more minutes. “Okay, King, time for you to go and eat some more so he can do some loving on me for a while.” Jerry walked King back to the barn, David at his side. He’s going to be positively inconsolable when King leaves us, David thought as he stood back and watched Jerry get King settled back in his stall.

  David found himself in a love-hate relationship with this time of his life. He had a loving and wonderful husband, two great kids who he loved more than anything, his long-lost sisters and their kids, and a new career that both excited and terrified him. But he also had a mother in the hospital—a diabetic who refused to stop drinking or take her insulin—a distraught father faced with the reality of losing the woman he’d loved for more than fifty years, and a breaking heart for the man he shared his life with, both of them coming to terms with even more loss to contend with.

  They’d helped William deal with the loss of his parents and the loss of Frau Zimmerman, a woman William still talked about although not with as much frequency, and they’d helped Cory deal with the loss of his father. But now it would soon be David and Jerry who would be left with nothing but memories. King would be gone soon, Biscuit following not too long after. Jerry’s parents were long dead, but David would soon lose his, and then there was the inevitable loss that one of them would suffer, the greatest loss. David fervently hoped during his darker moods that he would be the first to go; he didn’t know if he could go back to a world that didn’t include Jerry. Sure, it would be another twenty years or so, but even thirty years seemed too soon, too close.