Roots and Wings Read online

  “Just a bit, then,” William said as he watched his dad pour the champagne into his glass.

  “To… roots and wings,” David said as he lifted his glass.

  “Huh?” Jerry laughed when David rolled his eyes.

  “It’s the quote that you and David wrote in the card you brought when I graduated from Ryerson.” Cory’s eyes darted between David and Jerry, who felt a little foolish at that moment. “You don’t remember?”

  “Of course I do,” Jerry said as he took a deep breath and recited the quotation that he had written in the card. “David told me what to write, but that was my handwriting in the card. If it had been David’s, you would have been able to read it a lot more easily.” Jerry lifted his glass again. “Roots and wings.”

  Jerry took a sip and then placed his flute on the table, moving to wrap his arms around William and David. “We’re very happy for you, Cory. And you, Tara. I wish you as much love with your own family as I’ve gotten from mine.”

  Jerry felt William pull away suddenly, put his flute on the table, and then turn, heading for the stairs and his room. Billie was in hot pursuit.

  “What’s… is it something we…?” Tara’s eyes shifted from Cory’s to Jerry’s and then settled back on Cory’s.

  “I don’t know,” Cory said. “I’ll go and talk to him.”

  “No,” Jerry said, holding up his hand. “I’ll go. You two stay here and tell David what you’ve got planned already.”

  “I’m sorry, you two. I think William has been a little off lately. I’m not really sure what this is about.” Jerry heard David’s words as he headed up the stairs.

  Jerry knocked on the door and waited for permission to enter, wondering if William was too old to be found in the closet, like he’d been when he first moved here from that boarding school in Switzerland. When he heard William’s voice telling him that he could come in, Jerry twisted the knob and entered, finding William sitting at the desk, his chair turned to face the rest of the room.

  “I’m sorry,” William said, not looking at his father. “I ruined it, didn’t I?”

  “You didn’t ruin anything, son.” Jerry sat on the bed and patted the space beside him, laughing when Billie hopped up right away. “But you have us a little worried.”

  “Sorry,” William mumbled, moving to sit beside his father, his hand going out to play with Billie’s ears.

  “Is it Wayde?” Jerry asked, wrapping an arm around his son. “Did you two have a fight or something?” Jerry saw William shake his head. “Kids at school bothering you again?” Jerry thought briefly about the very long nine months when a few of the jocks at the school had been harassing William about having two fathers and no mother. It had taken them almost nine months of meetings and phone calls and e-mails, but Jerry and David had finally managed to get the school to take some action against those four bullies.

  “No,” William sighed and nuzzled Billie.

  “You don’t want to tell me? You want me to get David for you?” Jerry saw William shake his head again. “William, you’re kinda scaring me here,” Jerry said, shifting on the bed so that he was facing the flushed face of his son. William had grown to be a tall, strapping six feet, but in so many ways, Jerry would never see anything but that little blond boy with the very big blue eyes who’d shown up on his doorstep one day promising not to get underfoot. His heart ached whenever he saw that uncertainty come back into his son’s face. “Are you in trouble at school? Did you do something wrong? Illegal?” Jerry noticed his son shake his head, no, to all of the questions.

  “I can’t tell you.”

  Jerry heard the faint whisper of words and then watched as William’s face closed in on itself, the tears coming as quickly as they always did. Jerry stood up and pulled his son into his arms, his own eyes tearing up as he thought of what William could have possibly done. “Hey, chief,” Jerry brushed his hands up and down his son’s back. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

  “Can’t… tell… you.” William’s sobs were perforated with hiccups. “You’ll… be so… disappointed in me.” Jerry saw Billie jump off the bed and press herself between them.

  Jerry tried to stop the laugh, but it came anyway. Two short bursts of air on the top of William’s skull, like the kind of laugh that signifies someone’s complete disbelief in what he’s hearing. Jerry put a finger under William’s chin and turned his face upward so that they were looking at each other, father and son. “There is nothing you’ve ever done that has disappointed me, William.” Jerry brushed the hair out of his son’s eyes. “You are what I’m most proud of in my life. You are my single greatest achievement.”

  William burst into tears again at those words, and Jerry decided to wait it out and to go back to hugging his son, kissing the top of his head, wondering what could possibly be causing William to be in so much pain. Jerry didn’t let go of William and, after a couple of minutes, Jerry felt William’s body calm down, his cries replaced with sniffles.

  “What about David?” William looked up at him, his eyes bloodshot and his nose running. But the sincerity of the question had Jerry fighting to keep his own tears inside. “Aren’t you proud of him?”

  “Of course I am, sport, but… well, it’s a different kind of pride, I guess.” Jerry used the hem of his T-shirt to wipe away the wetness from his son’s cheeks. “You and David and Cory and Tara are what make me happy. The family that David and I have created, the love and respect that we’ve all given each other, and knowing that I had some small part in helping you to grow up to be the wonderful, kind, thoughtful man that you are.” Jerry cupped his hands under William’s cheeks. “Nothing you do will ever make me stop loving you, William. You will always be my boy, my son.” Jerry’s voice cracked on the last two words and then tears were streaming down his own face.

  “I’m sorry,” William said as he pulled himself against his father. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “Nonsense,” Jerry said as he pulled away from William, his hands on his son’s shoulders. “Now, when you’re ready to tell me what’s got you so upset, I can prove to you that it won’t make any difference.”

  Jerry counted to ten in his head, prepared to stand there hugging him all night if William still felt he couldn’t confess to whatever he’d done. He reached seven when William finally opened his mouth and said the words Jerry never thought he’d hear.

  Chapter 5

  JERRY wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly at first. Wayde and I have been double-dating with two girls from school. I did it just so I could spend time with Wayde; he’s my best friend. But then Anne and I had so much in common and we talked all the time and when she invited me over a couple of weeks ago… and her parents were gone to a movie….

  David and Jerry had had these discussions before, late at night in their bed. They’d often wondered if William would be gay or straight. It didn’t matter to either of them which way William went, but they’d always, kind of, figured that because he was so sensitive and had always talked about finding someone like David, that William might already know that he preferred boys to girls.

  “She texted me at work,” William said quietly, pulling Jerry back to the present. “It was a false alarm. She’s not pregnant.” Billie was back on the bed, her head on her paws, her brilliant light blue eyes darting between the two men.

  “You didn’t use a condom?” Jerry’s brain was torn between wanting to laugh from relief and wanting to give his son the talk they’d had when William and Wayde had become inseparable. Jerry had always figured that William was gay and that, as with other things in his life, he would be a late bloomer. William and Wayde were very affectionate with one another, never afraid to touch and be touched. William had always been that way, had always loved the physical affection, especially from David. So, Jerry had just figured that William would either be the most sensitive straight man that would ever live, or that he would be gay.

  “We didn’t plan on doing anything,” William explained a
nd then shrugged. “But we couldn’t stop.”

  Jerry could totally relate to that feeling. He’d felt it the first time he’d ever laid eyes on David. He’d felt it many times, but nothing quite as powerful and all-consuming as he had with David. Of course, neither he nor David had been sixteen years old, but he understood the intense physical attraction that could leave your brains scrambled while your libido took over.

  “That’s natural, son,” Jerry said, his hand stroking William’s back. “But you need to protect yourself and your partner.”

  “I know,” William said, sniffling. “I remember the talk that you and David had with me, but….”

  Jerry schooled his laughter at the memory of a thirteen-year-old William fidgeting while he sat at the kitchen table. David did most of the talking about condoms and safe sex while Jerry had just sat and blushed more than he’d ever done before. “And you thought we’d be disappointed that you hadn’t listened.”

  “That,” William sighed, his eyes glancing up briefly. “And that, well, I slept with a girl.”

  At that admission, Jerry did laugh and wrapped his arms around his son again. “Because you’re straight?” Jerry kissed the top of his son’s head again.

  “No,” William said against his father’s chest. “I know you don’t care about that. I mean that I was irresponsible and didn’t think about it first.”

  “Like I said, partner. That’s normal.” Jerry looked down at William again and brushed the hair out of his eyes. “I’m just relieved that this worked out for you. And happy that you found someone who makes you feel this way.”

  “I love her,” William said, his cheeks flushing again. “When Anne first told me, I told her that I would marry her, if she wanted.”

  “And Anne loves you?” Jerry shook his head and smiled. “Of course she does. Anne would be crazy not to see how special you are.” Jerry pulled William to his chest again. “Now,” Jerry stated quickly, “when do we get to meet this lovely young woman?” William shrugged. “Okay, I’ll tell you what.” Jerry let go of William, his hands still on his son’s shoulders. “You tell Anne that we’d love to meet her sometime and that she should consider us her… friends.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” William said, his handsome face finally smiling. “She wants to be a vet too.”

  “Sounds like a match to me then.” Jerry caressed his son’s cheek. “I’m proud of you, William, for telling me the truth and for wanting to look after Anne. Do… her parents know?”

  “Anne told them yesterday.”

  “And?”

  “They were really mad,” William said, his voice betraying his nerves. “They won’t let her see me anymore.”

  “Well,” Jerry said, squeezing his son’s shoulders. “Maybe David and I can meet with them.”

  William shrugged, as if to say that it was pointless but that he was willing to do anything to see his girlfriend again. “It couldn’t make anything worse.”

  Jerry offered a little smile and a quick laugh. “No, I guess it couldn’t.” Jerry kissed the top of William’s head again and began moving toward the door.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah?” Jerry stopped and turned to look at his son.

  “Thanks,” William said, finally showing that smile that made Jerry’s chest tighten. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, son. Very much.” Jerry put his hand on the door knob. “But no more thinking you could ever disappoint me… or David. Okay?” William nodded. “I won’t say anything to David or Cory. You come back down and celebrate… when you’re feeling a little better, yeah?”

  “I will,” William said. “I’m sorry for ruining everything.” William was on the bed, stroking and petting Billie, who had turned over on her back, wanting her belly scratched.

  “Hey,” Jerry said, his grin big and broad. “No more of that, right?”

  Jerry closed the door and leaned against it, taking a moment to shake his head, the smile permanently fixed on his face. Grandchildren, he thought. David’s going to flip out when he finds out that this house will be filled with grandchildren.

  CORY and Tara had gone out to visit some friends and to give them the good news, Jerry was still up with William, and David was cleaning up the kitchen before heading up to ensure that Cory’s room had clean sheets and towels ready for the engaged couple. Grandchildren, David thought as he felt the smile growing on his face. I can’t wait for the grandchildren. He thought about changing diapers and feeding time and the thousands upon thousands of pictures he’d be taking. I might even have to buy Cory and Tara a video camera so that they can send videos. He shook his head at how far ahead of everything he was getting, and twisted the sponge before wiping down the table, looking up as he heard Jerry’s heavy footfalls on the stairs.

  “Well?” David stared as Jerry just stood there, smiling and shaking his head.

  “Promised I wouldn’t say anything,” Jerry whispered, then shrugged. “Can I… interest you in a little alone time in the barn?”

  “Absolutely,” David said, knowing full well there would be plenty of talking about what he wasn’t supposed to know, followed by a little kissing and fondling. Ever since William had gotten older, Jerry had taken to pulling David out to the barn for some fooling around. As far as David was concerned, he didn’t really care where it happened as long as it happened.

  Jerry held out his hand, and David took it, pressing himself against his husband as Jerry kissed the back of his hand and led him to the bottom of the stairs. “William? David and I are heading out to check on King. Be back in a little bit.”

  “’Kay!”

  David looked up at Jerry as they walked out onto the veranda. “Nothing serious?”

  “Not for us,” Jerry said, looking down at David. “Seems our little man has gone and fallen in love.”

  “What?” David stopped walking. “He’s only sixteen.”

  “Calm down, Doc,” Jerry said, wrapping his arm around his husband and kissing his temple. “It’s probably just puppy love.” Jerry sighed and started them walking again. “You remember how we were wondering if he would be gay or straight and we didn’t care either way?”

  “Yes.”

  “Looks like he’s gone and fallen in love with a girl,” Jerry said and waited for David’s reaction.

  “So?”

  Jerry stopped walking this time. “I thought you’d be jumping up and down because of all the grandchildren.”

  “He’s only sixteen,” David repeated. “He’s so young still.”

  “Apparently not,” Jerry said with a lopsided grin. “Seems that there was a pregnancy scare.”

  “A what?”

  Jerry nodded. “False alarm. No baby.” Jerry started them walking again.

  “That’s what’s been bothering him?”

  Jerry nodded again and pulled David between him and the slats of King’s stall. Jerry assumed his usual position, legs slightly spread so that he could be eye to eye with his husband. “He actually thought we’d be disappointed in him for losing all focus and forgetting to use a condom.”

  “We’d never be disappointed in William.” David was surprised, by all of it really, but he would never be disappointed in William. For David, William would always be that scared little boy who had led him out to this barn all those years ago to show him King and Biscuit.

  “That’s what I told him,” Jerry said as he leaned against David, knowing how much David loved to feel his weight pressing against him. “Told him that we’d never be disappointed in him for doing the right thing.”

  “Wait,” David said, putting his hands on Jerry’s face as it descended to nibble at his ear. “He proposed to her?”

  “I think so,” Jerry nodded, trying to free his face so he could press his lips to some warm, sensitive skin. “Apparently, her parents won’t let her see our boy anymore.”

  “Why not?” David saw the look on Jerry’s face, the one he had whenever he thought David was asking a stupid question. “So they
got carried away. They’re sixteen, for pete’s sake.”

  “Not our call,” Jerry said, his lips finally making contact with David’s earlobe.

  David thought about that for a minute, then pulled Jerry’s face so he could look at him again. “Should we call them?” Jerry just sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Jerry?”

  “I think we need to wait,” Jerry said as he brushed his hands over his husband’s hair. “This isn’t the end of the world, baby.”

  “I bet that’s not the way William sees it.” David was becoming a little frustrated at Jerry’s lack of reaction. Those parents should be so lucky to have someone like William in their daughter’s life. Maybe they had gotten carried away and gone way too far, but David knew that William would never have forced himself on that girl.

  “He says he loves her,” Jerry admitted as he pushed himself off of David and entered King’s stall. “Broke my heart to see him so sad, so worried. But we’re not going to help anyone by doing… whatever you think we should do.” Jerry picked up the rubber curry and began his gentle circular motions, talking softly to King. David figured Jerry was probably right, but if these parents thought that forbidding their daughter from seeing William wouldn’t eventually lead to more serious issues, they were seriously delusional.

  “I’m sorry, Jerry,” David said as he entered the stall and stood stroking King as Jerry worked to loosen the dirt with the rubber curry. “I didn’t mean to turn you away, but—”

  Jerry stopped combing and turned to face his husband. “I know you didn’t, David, and I know how much you love our son.” Jerry moved forward and leaned in to kiss David’s full lips, then went back to grooming.

  David picked up the plastic mane comb and began brushing the shiny black hairs with long, slow strokes, careful not to break any of the beautiful hair of King’s crowning glory. David and Jerry worked together, mostly in silence, removing the dirt from King’s coat and making it clean and shiny, eventually changing ends. David stroked the beautiful tail, coating the long hairs with Show Sheen as Jerry brushed King’s coat, flattening all the hairs, before picking up the hoofpick.